I'm still breathing....

sometimes it's better to barefoot..., originally uploaded by jay_baharin.

1st nak cakap, LAMA GILER TAK UPDATE BLOG!!!

Currently I'm doing paediatrics (child-medicine)...so today i just finished my attachment with Temple St Hospital. Next week gonna start my attachment at Crumlin Children Hospital where the real challenges of paediatrics start.I personally think Paediatrics is likely to be my future career, simply because i just love kids. Geram sungguh baby-baby mat salleh yang bulat-bulat bermata biru-hijau-segala tu...

On a different note, my home internet connection at the moment has been disrupted for almost 2 weeks-thanks to the stupid NTL. Lucky enough Sarah Amin's O2 broadband becomes a saviour for this mess. But blessing in disguise according to Hanif, the deprivation of internet has made me to appreciate the value of time more than ever...this week i can darely say as the most productive week i ever had in 4 years in Dublin. Reading, studying like tomorrow never comes, just simply because i was plagued by offline-induced boredom...

So tomorrow, we gonna have a meeting with our sponsor-MARA, mainly to discuss about the things we should do as a final year med student...this somehow a reminder for us, that we are getting closer to the very much sought after ending line. But it also tells me how unbelievable fast-the time is passing by...from a Nobody to Somebody within 5 years time is simply beyond my imagination...

Chasing Place & Time

Mamutik Island, Sabah, originally uploaded by jay_baharin.

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover"

Mark Twain

This time i would like to talk about my holiday plans from 26th-July to 10th August

26th July

- Syamir's brother wedding, KL

- Maybe a little reunion with my UCD classmates, mostly to discuss about the clinical elective in January

27- 30th? July

- Trip to Penang with my classmates, is actually a long term plan, that was never materialized for the past 2 years..

- Most probably will cut down number of day spent in Penang

1st August

- Kak Shida's wedding reception, being asked to be a wedding photographer which i'm actually doesn't have any slightest talent/skills/expertise whatsoever in the so-called "wedding photography"...hentam sajalah...

2nd August

-Ili's wedding reception...she is my classmate in UCD, and was also my O&G partner - through thick and thin together!! So this is a must attend event

3-5th August

- Trip to Jogjakarta to visit Borobudur, Prambanan Temple & Merapi Volcano with Hadi & Syamir

- Dad especially really worries about this trip, especially after a bombing in Jakarta less than a week a go

6-10th August

- Trip To Sarawak, with my family...less than 24hr after a trip to Jogjakarta!, back & forth to airport it seems....

- This suppose to be the mother of all trips for this summer hols...let's see how it goes....

I don't know why i chose to travel here and there in such tight schedule...maybe realizing the Ramadhan month is coming soon, so it's better to travel ASAP...or is it simply because i just realized this gonna be my last summer hols before i officially carry the title "Doctor" (Insya-Allah) for the rest of my life, and for years to come words such as "Holiday" and "Vacation" will almost non-existent in my life diary...so i tell myself i'll enjoy every single moment of this summer hols, to witness all the beautifies the world has got to offer while i'm still blessed with the comfort of time & space...may i one day, while i'm suddenly missing my student life, i at least have something to be smiled at--the good times i had enjoyed while still young & healthy instead of regretting never-endingly the things i should had done in the past...

p/s: After all these, need to search for a new house in Dublin, finalizing January elective, concentrate on other unfinished plans...headache!!!

A Disease of Inflated Ego...A Lesson to Learn

The Past and The Present, originally uploaded by jay_baharin.

"By (the Token of) Time, Verily Man is in loss, Except such as have Faith, and do righteous deeds, and (join together) in the mutual teaching of Truth, and of Patience and Constancy"

Al' Asr: 103

About 3weeks ago i was in the living room surfing the net while my father was listening a religious discourse on TV which discussed something about ego. Being a young man with western education and lifestyles have such enormous impact on my life, to listen or even to be interested to religious discourse is something out of norm. But something struck my mind when one of the panels who looked just as conservative as other typical clergymen - with white robe and head-dress, mentioned the words "a disease of inflated ego"...he said the words in English as could be the real reason why i was extremely amazed...He said that how many people especially academic scholars, religious figures (clerics, imams), professionals infected with this kind of problem. As you gather more knowledge in your expertise your ego about your possession of knowledge growing bigger to a point you think you know almost everything and better than most of average people. This as a result makes them too ego to accept and learn for the sake of knowledge especially from those they consider inferior to them in their expertise.

An event happened yesterday, has enlighten me more about this so called "a disease of inflated ego"...we underestimate or look-down at people just because they have made mistakes and less smarter than us. But we forgot, they have the chance to learn from all these mistakes through desire & effort and one day may outperform us if we constantly deluded by our perishable success. Often we have great difficulty to receive guidance from people we consider inferior to us, thinking they lack credibility to do so when the true fact is knowledge is learned not owned by a man. Even a small immature kid can teach you so many aspects about life if you willing to liberalise your mind from any judgemental thoughts....

After 4 years in medical school, i realized that most of my knowledge about medicine were not taught by lecturers but instead learned from patients. But sadly, sometime we are too arrogant to claim the patients know nothing about medicine when all the wonders & success in modern medicine all these while were achieved by understanding of patients' suffering... So, when encounter with people who never got their feet on university's soils-hence less educated than you, or someone who know very little about something you're very knowledgeable at, never consider yourselves are better than them, but instead you're just more fortunate....

Yesterday has also taught me another valuable lesson about life. Those who always blinded by the comfort of success by ignoring the fact nothing ever made to last, and those who have made mistakes and keep repeating the same mistakes as too stubborn to learn they will eventually plunge themselves into loss. When mistakes are made,they are not for grievance but have a big heart to admit and learn something from it. Never underestimate its power to change everything...

Off to KL...

Take it off & dance..., originally uploaded by jay_baharin.

Gonna meet with the newly graduated Doctor Asmil in KL...He insists me to see him before he commits his life to the painful-torturous world of clinical internship....haven't seen him for years...then most probably meet with all wonderful cousins at Putrajaya...hopefully this gonna be a good escape....for the time being i'm offline until Saturday!

The Curious Cases of Amirah Marini

I need more Starbucks!, originally uploaded by jay_baharin.

I think i should share several funny moments about my niece - Amirah aka Meera; the naive, outspoken, talkative little girl

Case 1

We were sitting on a sofa, while waiting for my mother, Kak Ina (Meera's mother), & Kak Nadiah busily bargaining the much overrated tudung "Ekin" at one newly opened Ariani's Headscarf boutique...then came on one small kid-around 5 years old who facial features resemble of those individuals with Down Syndrome

Meera: Eh busu Din tengok muka budak tu!

Jay: Meera ape-pasal cakap kuat-kuat ni! (sambil berbisik+teran suara)...parent dia duduk dekat-dekat kita jer ni!

Meera: oh ok!....(diam seketika)...tapi kan muka orang-orang macam dia ni kenapa serupa jer erk?

Jay: Meera!!! (rasa nak pengsan afterward)

Case 2

We were in living room while Meera was busy glancing through an entertainment magazine mum has just bought

Jay: Wah mana-mana ada jer muka Michael Jackson...(commenting the article on MJ in the magazine)

Meera: aah sana-sini Michael Jackson tak abis-abis

Jay: Ibu kau tu lagi fanatik Michael Jackson...kemain excited tengok dokumentari MJ kt Astro...siap beli album lagi...

Meera: Dia tu memang...tiap kali dengar lagu Michael Jackson mesti nanges

Jay: Eh mana mira tau dia nanges?

Meera: Dah ibu cakap "tiap-tiap kali ibu dengar lagu MJ ibu sebak sampai nanges, tak tahan sedih"

Jay: di dalam hati -- "oh kakak ku kau mempunyai anak yang memang mulut tempayan"

Case 3

This actually quite an old story but extremely 'ever-green'...it got a new life when nenek told me about Amirin's difficulty in fulfilling his Nazar after 5As achievement in UPSR. It involved Meera's conversation with her paternal grandmother - Nenek Leha

Meera: Nenek nak tau...dak mirin kan dia dah Berzina!!!

Nenek Leha: berzina?

Meera: dia berzina lepas dapat 5A nak puasa 2 hari berturut-turut...lepas tu tak larat nak buat

Emak Meera: Meera!!...bukan berzina la bernazar la!!

p/s: Meera is very special in her own words that full of mistakes/errors but annoyingly honest....she always a source of humor in the family through her naiveness ...

Alas...blog update...

Bored, originally uploaded by jay_baharin.

Wow it seems ages, since my last blog post!...to me blogging is a bizarre hobby to have...the more free time you have the lazier blogger you will become. This is quite obvious considering most of my blog entries were done around or during the exam weeks!...i guess blogging is more a medium to de-stress myself rather than to fill the emptiness....

So i'm now in Malaysia, for more than 2 weeks & and it seems time passes so fast while you on holiday...i did enjoy the 1st 2 weeks of this holiday, and only spent it in Malacca - my hometown...this summer i believe quite different from the summer hols that i had previously...it used to be a tradition to go down to KL frequently (to a point every week!)...but this time around i just don't have the interest...don't know why...

Maybe lots of changes in my parents' house itself may explain of this lack of interest...for example dad has just recently installed (just before i came back to Malaysia) an air-conditioner at the living room - maybe he sicked of my endless comments of how Malacca was such a hot place to live. And my brother Hairi, who for unknown reason bought a wireless router for this house - though he himself not staying at Malacca (He's working in Sarawak for 5 years)...it just a bless to be able to get online anywhere in the house, so i prefer to stay at home rather than go out...And finally the other thing that may explain this less than ordinary "summer ethos" the world outside me has changed as the time keep moving...One of my cousins has just married, and one just got a baby boy...so it's deadly wrong to expect people to have more time and spaces for you when they have more commitments to struggle with...but having said all that, it still a good summer so far...i'd have plenty things to do between 27th July and 10August...i will try to explain in the next entry on the things i plan to do...

p/s: may i have the courage to post entries regularly (try to sound less optimistic )

The Wonder of New-Gen SLR

Happy New Year Time Lapse in HD, originally uploaded by sqbbe.

My Flickr's Pro-account has just expired last Friday after a year of paid subscription...it took me days of retrospection whether i should renew my membership or not given the fact i sort of under-utilized my pro-account previously...and the fact i'm officially in final med, makes the prospect of enjoying photography as a hobby sounds very unlikely at least for one year...

So while exploring flickr's most interesting stuff (my weekend obsession), i encountered with this new year celebration video in Norway by Sqbbe, who is featured on 1/1/2009...It's basically a sequence of pictures taken every 10secs by using SLR-Nikon D300...instead of taking continuous HD video (new generation SLRs now mostly equipped with HD video output), he opted for taking picture in sequent, which in this case brings more surreal effect!...simply amazing!

So after watching this video, i felt so inspired to renew my Flickr pro-account, and maybe i should try to upload photo-slideshow videos...I think i should experiment with Kak Shidah wedding reception this August...hehehe...

p/s; Capturing sun-setting in Dublin from Liffey River should be nice, but the question is when???

The exam is finally OVER!!!

I was in Hollest Street Hospital while typing this entry...in the computer lab, with gloomy autumn Friday just outside the window....just finished with my long case Obs & Gynae examination...thanks to God, everything went just fine though not really good...i found that all the SPRs were all extremely helpful especially Dr Jenny -sadly today the last day i could see her...hopefully i will pass this exam (crossing the fingers) and focus on my final year next term...Obs &Gynae such an interesting subject but very challenging...to be honest i don't see myself possess the qualities to specialize in this area...but having said that, i did enjoy the 6weeks rotation...i learned many new things, made mistakes and improvised that the best things about this journey...

p/s: was still waiting for the rest of my friends to finish their long case exam, before heading to nearest Cinema...Star-trek maybe?